History

We spent most of the day at Pearl Harbor and I couldn't help but feel a mixture of awe and disbelief that I was standing on such historic ground: where World War II started and ended, where many people made a lot of sacrifices and promises, where many dreams were shattered and later rebuilt. I got goosebumps standing on the battleship USS Missouri where Douglas MacArthur signed the surrender documents from Japan. It felt eerie and terribly heavy seeing the bullet holes on the windows of Hangar 79. I salute all the men and women who lived for what they believed in and died with honor for their countries.

I couldn't help but remember one of my history teachers saying that history is exactly that - his story. We know that there are as many stories as there are people, so are there just as many histories? There are always multiple perspectives and I couldn't help but wonder how history is told by professors in Japan. How did World War II look from their side of the Pacific Ocean? How different are the stories told on their own historic ground of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

However different the stories, the lesson is loud: war totally divides and destroys everyone and everything in its path. Never forget, never again.

Aloha

It's our first day in Waikiki and we are loving the distinctly aloha vibe! It's fascinating how one word can capture so much of the culture and the people of Hawai'i. Here's a quick blurb from Wikipedia:

Aloha in the Hawaiian language means affection, love, peace, compassion and mercy. Since the middle of the 19th century, it also has come to be used as an English greeting to say goodbye and hello. Currently, it is mostly used in the sense of hello; however, it is used as the above. A folk etymology claims that it derives from a compound of the Hawaiian words alo meaning "presence", "front", "face", or "share"; and ha, meaning "breath of life" or "essence of life." 

We are in for an awesome week of aloha.

Green

We had our quarterly off-site team-building activity today organized the cool sales and marketing team. We dubbed it Green Day and brought the team to the Gold Class theater to watch The Green Hornet. Most everyone came dressed in shades of green as we had asked them to!

There are so many images that come to my mind with the word green. In no particular order, here are my random list of green-related words.

• Milo
• La Salle
• tea
• grass
• pistachio ice cream
• veggies
• environment-friendly
• Peter Pan
• my high school grad ball dress
• pine trees
• Brazilian flag
• Celtics
• blue + yellow
• emerald, my birth stone
• envy
• chlorophyll
• pesto
• new life

You can read more on green in its Wikipedia entry. What comes to your mind with this color?

Punch

I spent the evening with C at a cozy little rooftop bar called Mr. Punch instead of yin yoga class. She pulled out her bat signal and wanted someone to talk to. With her, I'm guaranteed good company and good conversation, and so it didn't matter that it was Valentine's Day and we were both without dates or significant others. (Or maybe because it's punched me in the face many times over and I'm so numb that I can't feel another blow. Ouch.)

Optimist

I had a long-overdue dinner date at Bella Pizza with my friend D tonight. N and D. Night and Day. The Pessimist and The Optimist.

The last time we had a one-on-one dinner was at another pizzeria in early September when we discovered just how much we were opposites of each other. We played a game that night: we'd pick a random word and take turns sharing the first thing that came to mind. With the word "ham" I thought of Toy Story while she remembered a boy she loved who loved prosciutto... but not her. To me, "football" meant family picnics watching my younger brother play soccer; to her, the game reminded her of another boy who broke his promise. "Strawberries" reminded both of us of summer trips to Baguio, but she almost immediately turned melancholic as she reminisced how that was "the freest she ever felt" in her life.

After our game of word associations and lots of laughs, she once again pronounced that I was the optimist to her pessimist. I had come to accept that role gladly, as happily as a yellow paperclip earns its bright purple spots. D's drama was always heartfelt and she insists that it's necessary to fuel her poetry. I disagreed with her and had learned to accept how she would always see the half-emptiness of things; in fact, it came to a point that I had come to expect it.

Except of course when life throws us curveballs and we're caught by surprise. Tonight, I believe we switched roles and found ourselves in each others' shoes. D was brimming - no, overflowing - with the fullness of things while I was trying to get myself out of a sinking spot. We didn't talk about ham or football or strawberries, but I couldn't help but call it to her attention how her default language was no longer that of drama. Instead, she spoke of possibilities and of hope and of all things new. D spoke of love and she was positively beaming. It was poetry come to life.

She still rolls her eyes in denial but I believe she is the true optimist. In her biggest real-life drama, D surprised us all and brought back the sunshine of Day to dreary Nights.


To D, V and Jack: I pray that the sun continues to shine on all of you, keeping your new life forever happy and bright yellow.

Lavender

Today would have been my grandma's 92nd birthday if she was still here with us. I love how she loved all things lavender and purple, how she would sniff our cheek in place of a kiss, and how she shared and lived out the dream of writing. She was the matriarch and my dad often called her the "iron butterfly" embodying both grace and strength.

I wore my favorite purple dress today. And after offering a Mass for her, I bought myself a bottle of lavender scrub.

According to folk wisdom, lavender has many uses. Infusions of lavender soothe and heal insect bites and burns. Bunches of lavender repel insects. If applied to the temples, lavender oil soothes headaches. In pillows, lavender seeds and flowers aid sleep and relaxation. An infusion of three flowerheads added to a cup of boiling water soothes and relaxes at bedtime.

Again

And just like that, the Universe conspires once again. I sought and I was found. I knocked and had doors opened.

Two emails (and an exchange of messages) from two friends changed everything. All of a sudden, two of my unresolved issues cleared up. They had been living in my head rent-free the last few months and were starting to weigh me down. But the moment I asked for help, the good Universe opened up. Again. Thank You, God... again (I say meekly, embarrassed that I didn't pray and ask for help sooner). I'm glad to have you back again (and vice-versa, I hope!), N and D!

Tonight I also enjoyed the Janet Jackson concert where she sang all of her Number One hits... again! I'm glad that "Again" and "Together Again" were part of her line-up.

Light

I started my day in our little zen garden with a bowl of strawberry yoghurt and cereal, several games of Words With Friends, and a dose of much-needed sunshine. The morning breeze helped rub the sleep away from my eyes. The fresh blue sky greeted me with a smile. It was a great way to start my Sunday, to refresh and recharge, and to jumpstart new beginnings. Now why did I never have my breakfast in my own backyard before?

"Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun." Ecclesiastes 11:7

I love my little nook but the only thing I don't like is the fact that I don't get natural light inside my studio. With or without the blinds drawn, it could be 8 a.m. or 3 p.m. and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Sunlight has gotten much bad press but it also has many healing properties as noted in this site; I want to highlight these:

• Sunshine encourages healthy circulation. It also stimulates the production of more red blood cells which increases the amount of oxygen in your blood.
• Sunlight is one of the most effective healing agents that exists.
• Feeling down? One of the major benefits of sunlight is that it will soothe your nerves and boost your mood leaving you with a renewed sense of well-being. Sunlight increases the production of endorphins and serotonin in your brain which will definitely leave you feeling much better.
• Getting enough sunlight during the day can help you sleep better at night. If you are exposed to natural light during the day, it will increase your melatonin output at night. Melatonin is a natural hormone made by our bodies. It enhances sleep and slows down the aging process.
• The healing properties of the sun are excellent for people who are suffering from various diseases and ailments.
• Sunlight helps to balance out your hormones. It may even help to relieve certain symptoms of PMS.

After my breakfast, I hadn't had enough so my friend E and I went for lunch at The Beach Hut at the East Coast Park. We didn't sit out in the sun but getting fresh air (versus being stuck in an airconditioned room!), seeing the water, being outdoors and talking to a dear friend really boosted up my spirits. I definitely got my much-needed dose of endorphins and serotonin. (Thanks, E!)

There were no rainclouds in sight and I felt that the sunshine stayed with me the rest of the day. My sister and I had an early dinner at Wild Honey and went to mass together (which was nice and something we should do more often). Today's message made perfect sense:

You are like light for the whole world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; instead it is put on the lampstand, where it gives light for everyone in the house. In the same way, your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5: 14-16

It was literally a lightbulb in my head, a ray of sunshine through the clouds: Whatever is inside will radiate outward. As I am the keeper of my own lamp, only I can light the candle once again... or perhaps I just need to flick a switch... or maybe it's voice-activated? 

Let there be Light!

Breakdown

by Jack Johnson

I hope this old train breaks down then I could take a walk around 

See what there is to see, time is just a melody 

With all the people in the street walking fast as their feet 

Can take them, I just roll through town 

And though my window’s got a view, well the frame I’m looking through 

Seems to have no concern for now 

So for now I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


Well this engine screams out loud, centipede going to crawl westbound 

So I don’t even make a sound cause it’s going to sting me when I leave this town 

And all the people in the street that I’ll never get to meet 

If these tracks don’t bend somehow 

And I got no time that I got to get to where I don’t need to be 

So I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I want to break on down 

But I can’t stop now 

Let me break on down 


But you can’t stop nothing if you got no control 

Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know 

That you don’t know nothing but you don’t need to know 

The wisdom’s in the trees not the glass windows 

You can’t stop wishing if you don’t let go 

Of the things that you find and you lose and you know 

You keep on rolling, put the moment on hold 

Because the frame’s too bright, so put the blinds down low 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I got to break on down 

But I can’t stop now

Effortless

Like most important things in life, relationships also require effort to make them work. I don't just mean a romantic relationship; dealing with our families, friends, and colleagues require us to:

• give and take
• be there
• listen
• talk
• resolve issues
• keep in touch
• initiate conversations and get-togethers
• understand
• provide space when necessary
• be sensitive to cues
• give feedback
• sacrifice
• be at your best behavior
• surprise with kindness
• be authentic

...and so on. But because we do it out of love, it actually feels effortless. We enjoy maintaining and enhancing a relationship because it is life-giving.

Then there are relationships that require much more than what you can give freely and gladly give. I once heard the term "emotional vampires" to describe those who just take and suck the very life out of you. There are meet-ups that feel more like a chore or an obligation, rather than something you sincerely look forward to. There are "nonversations" to keep everyone preoccupied (in between using our smartphones). There are times when people fall of the radar, withdraw and hide under a rock, or are just on a completely different phase in their lives. For some, it's worth fighting for and working out and keeping in touch, even if only for those semi-annual get-togethers. For others, especially if your own efforts aren't welcomed or reciprocated, perhaps it's best to just let go and move on. Making that decision is never easy of course.

Today I am particularly grateful for two friendships that are completely real yet effortless: conversations are non-stop, sincere admiration and respect can be felt, and we are just present and authentic. To C: thank you for the cake, coffee, conversation and planting seeds to renew my dreams. To T: thank you for spending the afternoon with me, but especially for sharing your pain, showing your strength, and restoring my faith in the power of hope. You both made my day!

Next

恭禧發財

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

- T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Deadline

I had two big items on my to-do list which kept getting pushed back. I set today as my deadliest deadline, not only because it was already really, really needed, but also because it's lunar new year's eve and I didn't want to have to work on them during the holiday. It was an unofficial half-day in the office and I didn't have anything planned except for an 8 p.m. dinner so I had a good solid 6-hour block of time in the afternoon to work in the deserted office. Without emails, meetings and calls, I sat and typed and worked non-stop. It felt so good to have two big check marks on those two must-do's.

We all have deadlines but have you heard about "dreamlines"? Author Tim Ferriss of The 4-Hour Workweek coined the term and even came up with a Dreamline Worksheet to help calculate the time and expenses required to live out one's dreams.

We all have dreamlines. There's no better time to dig them up than on the first day of the New Year.

Apple

Yes, we are definitely MFEO. :-)